I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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