Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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