it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
