Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
