Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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