i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
