I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
