You're my little dorito
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
