This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
