I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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