apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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