hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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