I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Church boner. Awkwardddd
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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