fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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