Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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