we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
