Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
