Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Can Purell be used as lube?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
