Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
