I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize