Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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