that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
