Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
