you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I could fuck to npr.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
