She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
