I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
