pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize