Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
