Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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