kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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