your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
