How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
