they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
