I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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