Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
tell me about the eggs
Randomize