So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We named our party play list daddy issues
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
