if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Tornado booty call.. dedication
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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