he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
