Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
