she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
