I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
