Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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