what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
