you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
