after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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