I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
