hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
