I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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