Im at strip club and am horny
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Boobs speak an international language.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize