another moral hangover. fuck.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is my gift to your gina
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
