i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
