return my video game
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
