Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
