Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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