I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Text me some of your sweat
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
