She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
