i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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